My top 20 albums of the decade

So every newspaper, blog, and homeless person that I walk past on the street is doing one of these.. why not me??

Here are my personal top 20 albums of this very decade - and yes, they are in any particular order!

20 : Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz : This has a bit of everything, and most of it works.

19 : Nine Black Alps - Locked Out From The Inside : Being my current favourite, it had to be included. Frankly criminal that this is getting zero airplay simply because they are no longer signed to a major record label.

18 : Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong : When is a live album a classic? When it re-invents the songs, and throws in a genuine all-time classic unreleased song for fun

17 : Muse - Origin Of Symmetry : I'm actually not sure about this one, now you ask. But it has Plug In Baby on it for fuck's sake!

16 : Daft Punk - Discovery. Disco greatness; simples.

15 : Arcade Fire - Neon Bible : Choc full of in-your-face anthemic muchness. An album to warm your cockles.

14 : Eminem - Curtain Call : I had to pick an Eminem album because he has been one of the genui (is that the plural?) of the decade. So I kopped out and went for the greatest hits. It's a great album.

13 : The Strokes - Is This It? / Room On Fire : I'm not actually choosing one album here because neither is good enough but combined we have greatness, and they deserve to be on this prestigious list.

12 : The Field - From Here We Go Sublime : Yup, I hadn't heard of this either until it was all over the 'best of 2007' lists. It was all over those lists for a reason, ladies and gentlemen! This album manages to be a truly great, and more importantly cohesive dance record in a way that very few people have previously managed. There are plenty of dance artists I love who have made great songs, but none have made an album this good.

11 : Explosions In the Sky - How Strange, Innocence : There's not much to say about this except listen to it. Then again, and again. Then wonder how you lived without this band in your life.

10 : Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head. This is the album that delivered me from dance music and stoked that guitar fire inside, which burns to this day. Radiohead-lite? Maybe, but still bloody good.

9 : The Killers - Hot Fuss : So many great songs on one album.

8 : Green Day - American Idiot : This is everything a concept album could be; epic multi-part rockers, classic singles, and all so singular in message it's almost scary. It is scary.

7 : Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not : The most anthemic album ever? Something entirely fresh, whilst also completely brilliant.

6 : Ash - Free All Angels : So many potential top-10 singles on this record, is this the best pop-rock album ever?

5 : Muse - Absolution : Muse at their very finest. Screaming basslines, virtuoso guitars, massively OTT vocals, and massive tunes.

4 : Radiohead - In Rainbows : Radiohead produces classic 'song' album! Radiohead does melody! This suprised a few people, but ultimately is a classic. It's only not no.1 because the 2nd half isn't quite as stunning as the first, but it's still pretty damn unbeatable! Not a bad way to release it, either.

3 : Nine Black Alps : Eveything Is : This is the perfect rock album. Heavy-as-fuck from start to finish, unrelenting guitar warfare (well, apart from the intermission). But that's not it - it has tunes, awesomely memorable, endlessly repeatable, gorgeously air-guitar-ariffic-ly brilliant tunes, with not a weak link on the album (and not many even on this page can say that).

2 : Radiohead - Kid A : This is just the most astonishing achievment. The only album that pushes all the boundaries, yet remains completely listen-again. And again. And it has beautiful songs behind the icy facade. Leaving this off no.1 was a tough choice.

1 : Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak : This has to be number one, because it is my most-listened album this decade. The Bucket drew me in, and the rest kept me there. This is everything that their last couple of albums are not; Insane, unintelligable vocals, instantly memorable songs, openers, closers, NO POWER BALLADS. This is a work of art, a new deinfition of pop, it's nu-rock, and it's nothing that any other band could do. It's also among the best things i've ever heard live. Rock and roll for the 21st century - this is it.


And where would we be without some stuff that almost made the good list, but I haven't listened to it enough? Thirteen Senses, Operahouse, Bat For Lashes, Florence & The Machine, We Are Scientists, Maps, Sam Forrest - looking at you.

Honourable mentions for Worst Album of the Decade (from an artist who should know better) go to... (and you don't get links, chumps!!)
Muse - The Resistance
Oasis - Heathen Chemistry (or any other album this century from them)
Arctic Monkeys - Humbug
Kings of Leon - Only By The Night


Apalled at the shocking lack of muscial snobbery and bands your dad has never heard of? Shocked by the omission of Girls Aloud? Feel free to comment, or to simply never read this page like everyone else. S.

A beginners guide to commenting at El Reg

Firstly, and most importantly, think carefully before commenting. Not about whether your viewpoint is carefully considered and will make a positive contribution to the conversation - don't be stoopid! I mean think about whether your comment (ne The Truth(tm)) is condescending enough. Don't leave readers in any doubt.

If you are unsure on which position to take when commenting, here is a handy guide: -

• Microsoft are the spawn of Damien
• Mobile phones are for talking, and maybe very occasionally, texting. Anyone who wants to do anything more on their phone: has no life / should get a digital camera / how can they surf on 3.5" screen? / I managed without a phone in my formative years (please delete as appropriate, or simply list). Be inventive!
  
• Cyclists are a semi-human extension of the characters from Road Rage, and points are on offer
• No-one else contributing to this thread has, has ever had, or will ever have, a girlfriend - use this to your advantage when crafting your witty, insightful comebacks (see below). See how superior you feel towards everyone else now? Channel that!
  
• Twitter... hah!! Get a life. Same goes for facebook
  
• The iPhone is officially known as the Jesus phone here. Yup. It's because if you drop yours from a 10th-floor balcony, it will come back to life... try it
  
• Did I say that Microsoft are the spawn of Damien? I meant Phorm. Phorm kills blind babies and collectively eats their heads.
  
• Paris Hilton is a slut. Just saying
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• Generalise. It's boring when you are just insulting a small minority ("some BMW drivers can be right cocks"). Much better to go the whole hog ("all BMW/Audi/Merc drivers are fuckits of the higest order. I've personally witnessed at least 1094 causing fatal accidents whilst on their phone with one hand and jerking off with the other, at 146mph. In a blizzard. The only answer is to commandeer some 18-wheelers and run them all off the road over a steep sliff (all in the name of Darwin)" much better eh?).
  
• Always use the reg-coined nickname (Wacky Jacqui)
• Record companies may not be the spawn of Beelzebub, but.. hmm actually they must be! They are systematically raping both artists and consumers at the same time (no mean feat if you ask me). How dare they charge people for music? If they made the price more reasonable, no-one would download it for free - fact(tm)
• If there is a new technology or invention, which you think might actually be a good idea and might improve some people's live, whatever you do, please don't spew this nonesense from your foaming mouth - keep your earth-is-round nonsense to yourself. What a pointless waste of money, time, and my oxygen. If it is transportation-related, tell the lazy bastards to walk instead. If it is home-entertainment, then the tards should really be outside getting a life(tm).
  

Have a swift, comedic rebuttal ready for when some tard dares to disagree with you. The stronger their argument, the firmer we have to be here. In extreme circumstances (a well-argued, cohesive response which has made us look like a twat) we must wheel out "fuck off twatfuck fucktard" before anyone notices. That'll show'em!

And two-for-the-price-of-one this handy guide can be easily adapted for posting on Slashdot! There are some small but important differences that must be taken into account though: -

• If you are within the first 5 posts, then you must tell a joke - it must be the first vaguely funny thing that comes into your head (no thinking time allowed - must get in first!). Remember, no-one here has a girlfriend!! They will find anything funny! (If you can't think of anything funny, scan previous stories' comments for several well-used templates. There are some timeless classics that never get boring; I won't spoil them here but they involve ?? profit and overlords). Just don't be original or genuinely funny - that's not cool, mkay
  
• Mod points are at stake here, so try your very hardest not to actually be rude. Hard, I know - try and make the others sound like plonkers with your inciseful cutting wit.
  
• Please, whatever you do, do not research your comments! Where would the flame wars be without upstanding individuals such as yourself just Telling It Like It Is(tm)
• This really is the linux domain. If you post a comment using a Microsoft Windows PC, little balls of linux will travel back down the tubes and cause your computer to BLUE SCREEN. You have been warned

Now you have been given a basic introduction - off you go into the big-ol-wide-world and show us what you've got!

If you are interested in learning more advanced commenting techniques, then well done! There is big money to be made from spouting forthright ill-humoured nonsense from these very pages. I will be running seminars soon at a very reasonable price. The absolute masters among you, who truly excrete bile from every orifice (except your ears - that would be steam) can perhaps one day look forward to a long and successful career baiting the nation at the Daily Mail.

Do you have any other sage advice for potential comment-tards? Please leave it below, and put into practise what you have learned above.